just to warn y'all: i have not lost weight. if you're looking for some post to motivate you or to find out certain methods of losing weight, this is not for you

This post is going to be a ramble post, but honestly what's new. This blog is my space where I can free up what's on my mind. Please bare with me here.

Without going into all the mundane details about how I want to lose weight and why, I just want to talk about losing weight mentally. Losing weight is a huge deal, but preparing yourself mentally for it is something in and of itself. I can't even begin to count the number of times I have tried to lead a healthier life. I think the longest I went was three weeks back in junior year where I used exercising as an outlet while losing my dad. The mentality of this process is something not many people talk about enough I feel like.

I think a million times a day about how I could be healthier. I'm in multiple health groups on facebook, follow onstage and dedicated to weight loss journeys, and subscribe to youtubers the same way. Why is none of this motivating me to do something about myself. I think, "maybe this will be the thing that really does it, that really pushes me to do something about myself" but is that healthy? Should I be relying on someone else's success to ignite mine??

Yes, I think it's empowering to see others transform their lives and to be inspired by someone - but to hope and pray that seeing their transformation will spark something in me is not the same. I should want this for myself. To be my own person. To create my own transformation story. Everyone is different. Someone's success is not mine. Their success will be different from mine and I should not be too focused on the details. It's time to make a change. It's time to love myself now so that I can love myself later. Here's to a new me

-sam

ps I'm sorry this is so cringe worthy I'm trying to be inspiring or something here but it's probably just garbage